(this is an old post I’m replaying, because I want to…) My spiritual advisor taught me how to communicate with trees. After my first attempt didn’t go well, I confronted her. That tree you sent me to told me to get lost. She gave me a look of disdain. What did you say to upset … Continue reading
Tag Archives: humor
Tissue on the Bus – Based on Actual Events
A used tissue occupied the middle of the five seats at the back of the bus, crumpled and sticky white against the blue fabric. I chose a seat next to the window, leaving an empty seat between me and the nasal debris. At the next stop an elderly man entered and chose the seat next … Continue reading
XXX Fruit
I’m tired of all the games played by fruit, fooling us into thinking they’re ripe. Except for bananas. Personally I get along with bananas pretty well. If only other fruits would develop spots. My main struggle is trying to determine when my fruit has had enough foreplay and is ready for action. Some seem so … Continue reading
Self-Expression, Self-Absorption, Self-Consciousness, Self-Diatribes, Self-Publishing, the Lowly Self
I’ve been tempted to deprive this blog of sustenance and let it die a horribly sadistic death. It’s a thief of time, of more serious writing, and though it’s a fun creative outlet, it often feels as if it is a monument to my self-centeredness. Maybe this is just my issue, having been that vanquished … Continue reading
Reflections – Two Poems
Glasses Before him was a cup of coffee; behind him a window and a door. His sunglasses sat on the bar near his saucer. His reflection stared back. A young couple sat in a booth by the window. He watched himself drink his coffee. He saw the couple sip theirs. He noticed how … Continue reading
An FU Rant, Because I Can
What the fuck is wrong with this country? If our society consisted of a small group of people just starting out in this new world, we’d individually pay the local doctor on an as-needed basis for our care. As costs skyrocketed because of new technology, taking on more difficult to cure diseases instead of letting … Continue reading
I Doubt, Therefore, I Am
When I struggle to write, I begin to doubt my intelligence; when the writing goes well – even when a story feels complete – I question its quality because it came from me. I doubt I’ll ever put the past behind me, not completely, or that I’ll ever be satisfied with where I am at. … Continue reading
Animals Anonymous – A Mother’s Day Mini Play
Setting: The small drab auditorium of an old elementary school or church. Our hero stands at the podium addressing a sorry-looking bunch of mild-mannered men hunched over in their metal folding chairs. Our Hero: Hi, I’m a recovering animal. A chorus of grumbling Hello’s and Welcomes bubble up like simmering lava. Our Hero: As most … Continue reading
I’m Fat as Hell and I’m Not Going to Take it Anymore
Or maybe I am. Who knows? I need to drop at least twenty pounds but my body refuses to budge, maybe because those cravings for my old favorite addictions keep coming back, and every once in a great while, I give in. My body is apparently at that age where months can pass by without … Continue reading
Tree Wisdom
(finally, some high-brow literature..) My spiritual advisor taught me how to communicate with trees, but my first attempt didn’t go over to well. That tree you sent me to told me to get lost. She gave me a look of disdain. What did you say to upset it? Nothing, I did just as you described. … Continue reading